Merry Freaking Valentines Day
by silver-nightstorm
Summary: "I swear, if I see another heart today, I might just punch someone." "A toast then, to being single forever!" Pointless Valentines Day Fluff. Multiple pairings, multiple OCs. Main is ZoroxOC. Happy Valentines Day!


Hello! :D I'm here with a new oneshot that I hope you guys like! It's pointless Valentines Day fluff, and involves all the Straw Hats with random OCs. The OCs are all characters that I plan on (eventually) using in a fanfiction (it's still in progress). It's not very descriptive about them, but ah well :D Enjoy and please review!

WARNING: minor language and people who are angry about Valentines Day

**Merry Freaking Valentines Day**

**By silver-nightstorm**

**Summary:** "I swear, if I see another heart today, I might just punch someone." "A toast then, to being single forever!" Pointless Valentines Day Fluff. Multiple pairings, multiple OCs. Main is ZoroxOC. Slight OOCness. Happy Valentines Day!

~line break~

In the crow's nest of the Thousand Sunny, a certain green-haired swordsman groaned. He cracked his eyes open and held up his hand to block the glare of the early morning sun. Zoro yawned and lazily stretched, loosening up his muscles from staying in one cramped position for so long. His back cracked and he moaned slightly, fluidly dropping into a handstand and starting his morning training routine.

A few hours later, when the sun was significantly higher in the air, as Zoro wiped some sweat off with a towel, a scream shot through the air.

"Luffy!" Zoro groaned at the shriek. "How could you forget?"

_Forget what?_ Zoro wracked his brain for what Luffy could have possibly forgotten. It wouldn't do any good to appear as dense as the ships' Captain.

Alright, it was February. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. The crew was back in the East Blue on their way to Kokoyashi village. Nami had insisted on having Bellemere and Nojiko meet her newest flame, so the crew had had no choice but to listen to their temperamental navigator or attempt to face the New World without her guidance.

So East Blue it was. The only complication was that Ryan, the flame in question, belonged to a pirate crew as well. So his entire crew had been dragged along on this ridiculous escapade. Thankfully, their First Mate was as insane as Luffy, so there was no trouble there. A few rules bent, a few buttons pushed, and the Diamond Fang Pirates were camped out on the deck of the Sunny.

It was February. The fourteenth, to be exact, if Zoro remembered correctly. What was so significant about that day?

Zoro sighed and pulled his shirt back on, proceeding to climb down the ladder to the deck. Hearing Sanji's joyful humming from the kitchen brought back his memory.

_Valentines Day! That's what it is!_ Zoro heaved a giant sigh of relief. He had nothing to worry about. No angry female would castrate him for forgetting such a ridiculous holiday. Zoro snorted as he jumped onto the deck. The rest of the crew was absolutely bonkers to have 'relationships' and such. Zoro was single. And dammit, he was going to stay that way.

The door to the kitchen slammed open and a girl with curly light brown hair stomped out. Luffy followed behind her, trying to cram a chicken leg into the newly fixed pocket of his shorts.

"Nicole!" he shouted, spitting out little bits of meat. "What did I do?"

Nicole turned around and glared at him. "I'm going to my room so I can spend my time without you!"

Nicole stomped off to the girl's quarters just as a foot made contact with Luffy's head. "Idiot!" shouted Sanji. "How could you forget Valentines Day and break poor Nicole-chan's heart?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Oi, love-cook!" he called. "You know that Valentines Day means that you can't dote on Nami, right?"

"Shut up, stupid marimo!" growled Sanji. Zoro rested his hand on Wado Ichimonji, waiting for Sanji to attack him but the cook was distracted by the appearance of a blonde girl.

"Heather-chwaannnn!" sang Sanji, spinning down the stairs with hearts in his eyes. "Happy Valentines day!"

"Thanks Sanji-kun," smiled Heather, pecking him on the cheek. Zoro groaned and walked into the kitchen, not wanting to witness the cook go into full mellorine mode.

"Zoro-bro! Isn't today so super?" Zoro plopped down at the table next to Franky (who began to dance) and began to eat as much food as quickly as possible before Luffy came back. He nodded absently to the cyborg's comment and took in the rest of the table. Michaela, the swordswoman for the Diamond Fang Pirates, was rolling her eyes at her boyfriend's antics.

"No striking poses at the breakfast table, Franky!" she giggled. Next to her was the doctor for their ship, Natasha, the Second Mate, Marisa, and the archer, Jessica. The First Mate, Namitha, was nowhere to be found. In the corner of the kitchen, Ryan – the musician – was making googly-eyes with Nami who was sporting the expensive necklace that he had bought for her.

The chatter was driving Zoro nuts. Everyone seemed to enjoy talking at the same time and he was sick and tired of it. He groaned. _One day. That's it. And then it can all start over again, but in a less-insane and intolerable level._

~line break~

Namitha, the First Mate of the Diamond Fang Pirates, was angry. The first thing that she had gotten when she woke up – quite unceremoniously, I might add – was a tongue-lashing from Marisa for forgetting the quote 'most important holiday of, like, the entire _year_!' unquote. Thankfully, Robin, ever the levelheaded one, had managed to hold her back before she bashed the girl's head in. No matter what the reason, Nicole wouldn't tolerate any fighting on her ship (even though it technically wasn't _her_ ship) today.

After being awake for only twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds, Namitha was just about ready to shoot something. Or preferably, someone. Someone who screamed. Loudly.

But today was a _happy_ day, and it was a _happy_ celebration, so Namitha mustered a smile on her face and steeled herself to walk outside. The first thing she received upon climbing onto the deck of the Sunny was a nice healthy dose of chaos. Or maybe a bit more than 'a nice healthy dose'. Definitely a bit more.

Amanda was sitting on a lawn chair with Robin, Marisa, and Jessica, loudly complaining about the lack of single boys in the middle of the ocean. Usopp was loudly telling Chopper a grossly exaggerated story of how he saved Kaya's life while Brook seemed to be nursing a bruise on his skull (not that he could bruise because he has no skin!) presumably from asking one of the girls for panty-viewing privileges. Nami was screaming at Ryan ("How could you buy me a _fake_ necklace?") while Heather growled threateningly at Sanji ("I don't mind you flirting with other girls, but if you _ever_ flirt with another girl on Valentines Day again, I will personally murder you!") and Michaela berated Franky ("You don't pay attention to your stupid mechanics today! You pay attention to _me_!"). Nicole was sitting stubbornly on her chair, refusing Luffy's proffered apology meat. Namitha took one look at the madness going on and scurried up to the top of the crow's nest as quickly as her feet could carry her.

Thirteen minutes and seventeen seconds. That was an acceptable amount of social interaction, right?

~line break~

Peace and quiet.

Well, not exactly. More like peace and slightly muted nonsense going on in the background that is soft enough to ignore. Zoro sighed and began to lift weights. After the crews began fighting, he had retreated as quickly as possible – with a few bottles of Sanji's good wine – to the crow's nest. He had been lifting weights and drinking in peace for a while. But it was, naturally, too good to last.

The sound of cursing was what alerted Zoro to the presence of someone else. The door slammed open and a head of bushy black hair was in Zoro's line of sight. Ah. There she was. She had slept in, naturally. Why didn't he realize that before?

"Stupid fucking Valentines Day. Turns the entire crew into a bunch of hormonal teenagers!" Namitha stood up and tried to wrestle he bed-headed curls into some semblance of order.

Zoro raised an eyebrow, taking a hearty swing from the bottle and placing the weight down silently. How long would it be before she noticed his presence?

"I'm sick and tired of the color pink and the color red! Another chocolate bar and I might just scream!" Namitha stormed into the room, not even noticing Zoro until she tripped over him on her way to her normal spot in the corner.

"Fuck!" she moaned. Zoro tried to restrain his snort of amusement as the girl fell onto her butt. She rolled over to face him, an accusatory glare on her face, her nose scrunching up. "Asshat."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Oi, don't take your Valentines Day frustration on me. Not my fault you're single." Namitha shot Zoro another murderous glare. He offered her his bottle and her dark brown eyes softened slightly.

Sitting up and taking a giant swing, she sighed. "I guess it's too much to hope for some peace on this ship, right?"

"What's up with you?" asked Zoro. "You're normally up for the shenanigans!"

Namitha shot a glance at the swordsman. He was lying languidly against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms behind his head. Namitha pulled herself to the wall to rest next to him and sighed. "I'm just not in the mood today."

"What happened to the cheerful girl I had to fish out of the water yesterday?"

"Hey!" Namitha glared at Zoro. "Luffy was drowning! I had to do something!"

Zoro opened his eyes and shot her a grin. "You're just as bad as him, you know? He jumps into the water to save Brooke who was trying to save Chopper; you jump into the water to save him. Apparently having a Devil Fruit makes you stupid."

Namitha punched Zoro in the arm. "Shut it!"

"You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"What's up with you today?"

Namitha heaved a giant sigh, even bigger than her previous ones. "I don't know. I guess I'm feeling bitter." Zoro raised an eyebrow at her. "Everyone here has someone special to them, or someone special back at their homes," she elaborated. "And those who don't don't really want someone special right now anyway. They just want to complain. I swear I'm the only single girl who is actually looking for someone when no one wants her."

Zoro took the bottle back from Namitha and took another swing. "You can't know that for sure."

"I definitely can." Namitha snatched the bottle back and took another long swing. "You know? I don't think I want someone right now anyway. Everyone spreads all this hype about how amazing love is. Look at our crew. They're in love, and things are absolutely horrible!"

"What makes you say that?"

"Do you _hear_ them?" asked Namitha incredulously, just as an angry shout separated itself from the rest of the ruckus ("Contrary to _popular _belief, meat doesn't make everything better!").

Zoro snorted. "Touché."

Namitha slammed the bottle down on the floor and fixed Zoro with a piercing look. "I've decided. Love is stupid, horrible, and a waste of time! It turns us all into mindless fools and blinds us to reality. We're better off without love!" Namitha was a little bit drunk, Zoro was sure. There was no way she would talk like that about love without being slightly drunk.

Zoro took the bottle before the buzzed girl could have another gulp of the alcohol. "I don't think I'd go as far as to say love is stupid, but I swear, if I see another heart today, I might just punch someone."

"Or more pink…" said Namitha, starting to wobble a bit. "The boat's moving funny…"

"Or more pink," agreed Zoro just as the girl slumped over. She giggled as Zoro groaned and pulled her into a better sitting position on the wall next to him. She just slumped over and ended up resting on his shoulder. She snatched the bottle from him and took another gulp. Zoro reached for it and she slapped his hand away. "Getcher own…" He sighed, picking up another one of his bottles (this one was Sanji's prize, he would cherish every drop!). The girl got drunk very fast, very easily. Bad for pirates. Very bad.

"Let's make some toast," said Namitha. Zoro furrowed his brow.

"Make _a_ toast?"

"Sure… if that's what you wanna call it…" Namitha lifted her head up slightly to look right into Zoro's eyes. "Some toast to being single forever!"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "A toast then, to being single forever!"

~line break~

"Michaela, just listen to me for a minute!"

Franky's loud voice stopped Michaela in the middle of her pissed rant. She frowned, angrily tugging at a strand of her shoulder-length brown hair. "What?" she spat.

"Just, come with me okay? I promise it will be super!"

Michaela followed Franky into the workshop to see an intricately made necklace of various machine parts in Franky's hands. She gasped. "It's… wow…"

"I'm sorry I disappeared. I just wanted to add the finishing touches to this super necklace for you."

Michaela jumped into Franky's arms, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry I screamed at you!" she whispered, burrowing her head into his shoulder. "I love it."

Franky grinned and hugged her back.

~line break~

"Nami, I…"

"I can't believe you, Ryan! How could you lie to me?" Nami fumed. "You told me the necklace was pure gold, and then this happens!" She pointed to the ruined necklace.

Ryan frowned, trying to console the orange-haired girl. "I thought it was too! Look here!" He gave her the bill that he had gotten from the vendor who sold him the necklace. "I spent an exorbitant sum of money on this, and the guy cheated me."

Nami looked at Ryan and sighed, seeing the truth in his eyes. She turned her attention to the bill and gasped at the sheer number of zero's. "You spent this much Beli on me?"

"Of course I did. You mean the world to me."

"Oh!" Nami sighed, and jumped into Ryan's arms. She kissed him and smiled softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll help you hunt down that vendor and get your money back, alright?"

~line break~

Sanji hugged Heather, apologizing over and over again. "Heather-chwan, I'm so sorry! I didn't know me talking to Nami-san would make you upset…"

Heather sighed, pushing her hair out of her blue eyes. "Talking is one thing, Sanji. But you're flirting with her on Valentines Day."

"I will never flirt with another woman again if you forgive me!" sang Sanji.

Heather looked at him, a smile on her face. "That's the first time you've ever promised that!"

"So you'll take me back?" asked Sanji hopefully.

"Yes," Heather smiled gently. "Even though I know you won't keep that promise. Just, no flirting with other girls on Holidays, or my birthday, hmm?"

Sanji nodded vigorously, hearts dancing in his eyes.

~line break~

"I didn't mean to forget, Nicole!" whined Luffy. "Please, please, please forgive me! I won't eat meat for a day… um, an hour! And I won't bother you when you're trying to read, and I won't get angry at you when you don't make those yummy cakes! I promise! I'll let you hold my hat too!"

Luffy took off his hat and placed it on Nicole's head. "You're just as precious to me as this hat, no, you're more precious to me!" he declared. "I really like you, and I always will. I don't need a special day to say that."

Nicole smiled slightly. "You really mean that?"

Luffy nodded. "Yup!" he grinned.

Nicole sighed, and kissed his cheek. "It's hard to stay mad at you!"

Luffy jumped up and down happily. "Yosh! Time to go eat some meat!"

He raced off to the kitchen with Nicole following him shouting. "Hey! What happened to not eating meat for an hour?"

"Nicole! I wasn't serious!"

~line break~

Finally, Valentines Day was almost over. The Straw Hat Pirates and the Diamond Fang Pirates sat around the dinner table heaped full of heart shaped food that Sanji and Ryan had cooked. The crews had almost begun to eat when someone stopped them. "Wait! Where's Zoro?" asked Luffy. "I want Zoro to come here!"

"That idiot marimo is probably sleeping in the crow's nest," frowned Sanji.

Nicole frowned. "You know, I haven't seen Namitha all day either."

"We'll go look for them," offered Robin, standing up. Brooke, Marisa, Amanda, and Jessica followed her. A few minutes later, Jessica ran back into the kitchen.

"You guys need to come see this!"

The crew followed Jess up into the crow's nest. "Shhh!" she cautioned them, leading them inside.

Looking around, they spotted a head of green hair near the wall. Zoro was slumped on the wall, snoring softly. Namitha was sleeping on his shoulder, her body curled up tightly so she was lying against him. Zoro had his arms wrapped protectively around the tiny, dark-skinned girl and the two wore half-smiles of contentment.

Brooke grinned. "It seems as though these two have found the warmth in their heart! I wish I could find the warmth of love, even though I don't have a heart!" Usopp silenced Brooke's laugh with a glare before he could wake up the sleeping pair.

Robin smiled. "It looks like swordsman-san has finally found someone to care about."

Nami grinned. "It's a Valentines Day miracle, that's for sure!"

"Don't you mean Christmas Miracle?" whispered Michaela. Nami shrugged.

Sanji grinned. "In this lighting, he really does look like a moss ball!"

The laughter couldn't be stopped this time, and Zoro woke with a start closely followed by Namitha. The two looked at each other and sighed, rolling their eyes in unison. "Happy Valentines Day…" groaned Namitha. Even half asleep, she looked disgusted with herself for acknowledging the holiday.

Marisa choked out the words 'Christmas Miracle!' in the middle of her mad laughter.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Merry Freaking Valentines day!"

~line break~

*giant sigh* Eight stinking pages! Longest oneshot I've ever done! I hope you guys liked it. Just a bunch of randomness for all you wonderful people. I wanted to write something about how Valentines Day seems to drive most women into a state of insanity – there's something about all that chocolate that unbalances you! Lol. And for all the single ladies out there on Valentines Day – like me – don't give up hope! Your perfect guy is out there for sure! :D

Leave me some chocolates, cookies, roses, and reviews please :D


End file.
